Ode to Freshman Composition
Yes, I am actually writing something. Most of you probably don't even read this blog since I update it so infrequently and usually just post a batch of several-months-old pictures. But today, I decided that I actually needed to write something to vent my frustration. (This is Alicia writing by the way...not Paul).
Speaking of writing, there is only so much freshman writing I can handle, so I have to take it in small doses. No, I am not a teacher. I am a teacher's assistant, which means that I get the experience and joy of learning how to grade papers.
I would say that I'm grading freshman papers right now, but the truth is that I'm updating my blog in an attempt to procrastinate the grading as long as possible. Yet there they sit--stacked ominously upon my kitchen table, taunting me with unrelenting fragments, run-on sentences, horrendous slang, comma splices, split infinitives, and yes--even plagiarism.
And so I wait.
Luckily, plagiarism is quite easy to catch these days, since students who are lazy enough to attempt it usually pull it off the internet. A quick google advanced search easily explains the sudden shift between 8th-grade grammar and early 20th century prose. How dumb do they think we are, anyway?
Surely I need to do another load of laundry or put the dishes in the dishwasher before I tend to my stack of papers. I should probably return some phone calls too so that my mind will be clear and focused on grading.
It's 85 degrees right now, perfectly sunny, and the waves are glassy as ever. Paul's surfing and I'm not, which is particularly tragic since the waves are small today and perfect for me. Life is not fair.
Does anyone else relate to this swan song or list of endless excuses? Annie perhaps?
As a student, I never fully appreciated how my teachers must have agonized over our poorly written assignments. Tragically, some students turn in an entire paper without one complete sentence. Oh to discover the unique treasure of a complete sentence! (These are college freshmen we're talking about for crying out loud).
What are they teaching in public high schools these days? Apparently not writing. Annie, keep doing your job. Professors and teachers assistants everywhere desperately need you!
Belabored sigh....
Mr. C, I feel your pain.
posted by Paul and Alicia @ 2:31 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
I do my best...but no promises.
One student of mine said, "I'd have to be STUPID to plagiarize and then list the sources in my works cited."
All I could say was, "But Honey, that's exactly what you did..."
Ha ha! Yes, those plagiarizers are bright aren't they? Thank you for understanding. So few people value writing these days. Did I tell you that one of the field reps thinks we should get high school students to volunteer to write our reports since we're short-staffed? Amazing...
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i think they are teaching them Faulkner
field reps ... a wave of nausea just overwhelmed me.
Faulkner sounds a little heavy and depressing for high schoolers. What ever happened to the uplifting classics like The Scarlett Letter and Grapes of Wrath? They need to learn grammar before literature in my book (or an least both concurrently).
I am still traumatized by Grapes of Wrath.
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